I went to the inaugural Dominion Derby Girls bout at the Haygood skating center. Here's what I saw:

The announcers were amazing, spot on, and cheeky. Elizadeath (aka Becca the Wrecka) and Edger Yerseet, a queen and her cowboy, explained the rules to the crowd and gave a running commentary that was amusing and informative. Equally hilarious was the sultry Penalty Princess, who put the roughest girls (in this case, Hemi Girrl and Cutthroat KC) to the test with something called the Wheel of Punishment. I imagine that if Betty Paige hosted Double dare, this would be the result. Which is appropriate, since the Dominion Derby Girls' logo is Betty Paige punching you in the eye.

The entertainers for the first break were a local garage band called the Rats, who put on a fantastic show (despite technical difficulties with the microphones). I wouldn't be surprised if they turned out a bigger crowd by their own merits, the next time around. From what I understand, they'll be at the Taphouse on the ninth, and if I'm off I plan on being there.

The girls themselves were amazing. The teams were the Femmes Fatale and the Dirty Diesel Darlins', game taken in spades by the latter. The names all hark to a pro-wrestling, American Gladiator mystique - puns that could have been shaken free from the back of the Crypkeeper's cranium. The star players for the Femmes Fatale were Rocky Roller, Bam Bam Mc Cha Cha, and Cat O' Ninetails, while the Dirty Diesel Darlins rocked the rink with Hard Hittin' Honky, Mother Jugs and Angel Commando. By far, though, the leading lady of the evening was Sweet N. Lowdown, who never seemed to slow down and literally skated circles around the rest of them, all while executing the sort of poses you'd expect to see in a comic book superheroine.

Such fun I've not had since I was a kid. The buzz of the crowd felt a bit like being at a circus, or a demolition derby. There were families there to root for their sisters, mothers and daughters, who were probably too busy skating around and pummeling one another to really worry about it. In the mix, I saw friends, associates and deviant persons eating, drinking and being merry (even the gothy ones). Every fall and injury brought forth collective gasps and cheers, and people sat right at the boundary even when they knew the girls could fly out skates first at any minute.
At the end of the night, I heard talks from a dozen directions of going out afterwards, but for my own part I headed home.

Seriously, though. If you are in the Tidewater Area, you have to see these girls and their wonderful violence. This was by far the most entertaining event I've been to since moving here, and for my part I plan on becoming a regular at the roller derby.